Before we begin, let’s take a moment to review your motives about why and how to get your ex boyfriend back. Obviously you’ve been considering this for some time or you wouldn’t be reading this article. But, what are your real motives? Are you simply lonely? Or do you hope that he misses you as much as you miss him? If you answer the latter, then perhaps this article can help you in your quest.
Why Did Your Relationship Fail?
The first thing you’re going to have to do is look at why the relationship failed. Was it on your part, his part or both parts? Have the issues that caused the breakup in the first place been resolved? If not, you may wish to reconsider. If however, the issues have been resolved, then you may be well on the road to getting your ex boyfriend back.
Once you have all of the above sorted out, you will have to decide how to contact your ex. You’ll want this to sound casual, not pushy or like you’re desperate. It must appear as if you are simply inquiring about him or had thought of him when something reminded you of him.
Your initial contact can be via email, text, a Facebook message or something similar. Just remember, it must appear to be casual and not pushy. If you are pushy at this phase you’re going to lose before you ever get started.
After your initial contact you’re going to have to sit back and wait. Your wait may be anywhere from a few minutes to a few weeks. Be patient. You’ve made the contact, now let it work. Go find something constructive to do and put a smile on your face, you never know when he may be observing you from a far.
If he responds to the initial contact, you’re making progress. You can reply immediately or you may wish to wait a time so that you appear more casual. We highly recommend the latter as it makes it appear much more laid back and not desperate. This is how to win your ex back.
Winning Your Ex Back – Arranging Your First Date
For your next contact you may want to refer to a fun time the two of you had and thank him for the great memories. Again, this is not a time to be pushy. You could offer to buy him a coffee or something and talk about old times but again, make it very informal.
Now you’re back to waiting for a reply. If the reply comes back favorably, set up a time to meet for coffee. Coffee is a safe way to meet because you’re in a public place and you can keep the time together short if need be.
Dress nicely but not too fancily and be a little early but never late. You want him to know that you respect him and value his time. Buy him the coffee and smile as you reminisce about the past. Laugh with him but not at him.
This initial date should last about half an hour to an hour. Check your watch or cell phone and apologize that you have a meeting or something that you must attend to. Thank him for the great visit and tell him you hope you can do it again sometime real soon. If he responds favorably he may be interested in you again. If he does not ,smile anyway and be glad for what you do have.
How To Get Back Your Ex – The Second Date
If you make it to the second date (and yes, that is actually what you’re doing here – dating), then you can gradually begin to share more of your life since the two of you parted. Never mention any of the men you’ve dated in between. Just simply share about other aspects of your life.
If he inquires as to why you’re not with someone, be sure to tell him that no one else ever measured up to him and blush appropriately. Remember, you want to get him back here so be mindful of what you say. This is a critical time in creating a new relationship.
Be a little more open on this date and don’t be in quite such a hurry to leave. If the date appears to be lagging it’s time to make your exit. You could mention casually at the beginning that you need to be somewhere and use that if need be to make a quick exit. If things go well you could pretend to text your sister and tell her you’ll reschedule or be later than thought.
Go And No-Go Topics
Leave the past where it lies. Don’t go over the breakup and don’t rehash the past. Remember, you’re starting anew and you want to do only that. What’s done is done and it’s water under the bridge. You’ve both grown up since it happened and you need to forgive and move on.
Should he broach the topic, blush accordingly and say something like, “I can’t believe I let you go for that. What a fool I was.” or some-such, clearly stating that you’ve grown up since then.
The more he sees changes in you the more likely he is to want to try again. If for some reason he appears disinterested in you, back off and part as friends. It maybe isn’t meant to be. Getting back with an ex boyfriend isn’t always possible and you have to accept that if that’s how things play out.
Put Yourself First When Reuniting With An Ex
Always be easy on yourself and think of yourself first and foremost here. Whatever the cause of the breakup, you’ll need to have it in your heart and mind that you can forgive and forget and move on.
If he sees that you’re genuinely interested in him and what he has been doing, if he senses your sincerity, you’re much more likely to win him back.
Always be patient and gentle. Be easy on yourself and give yourself the grace to sense what is good and what is bad for you and your life. Allow him time to melt the ice crystals in his heart that may be keeping him from you. If it is meant to be, then this is how to get your ex boyfriend back.